What's made you smile today?

Currently reading:
What's made you smile today?

You bas***d you could have killed him! :ROFLMAO::LOL::LOL::ROFLMAO:
We did run him ragged, but only as he asked for it.
One afternoon after a pub lunch, we had a lecture in an old class room up stairs, we were all there early and saw him coming up the drive so shot into the room next door, we heard him go in and see we were not there, so he disappeared, coming back about 30 minutes later with the head of department by which time we were all sat in correct classroom with our books out ready for work. The head of department said to him "what are you talking about they are all here!":)
We learnt later he chased around the college on his motor scooter trying to find us, his brake failed and he drove into a parked car, it was over over fifty years ago and that prank was not one of mine in my defence.;)
 
Company probably made him a manager in the end:(
When I was at college we had a very cocky assistant lecturer always having a go about tiding up, so I left a spanner connected via a fine wire to the Champion Spark Plug testing machine, he bent to pick it up and I pressed the button!!!
I believe the comment was something like "You bas***d , you could have killed me!":)
My other trick was when some was using the same machine I would put my hand across theirs and the spark plug, I was expecting the shock , but they weren't;)
Our college was a bit "different" in that it was divided into specialist "shops". This consisted of separate workshops for each major area of the car - so there was a transmission shop, a body/chassis shop, an electrics shop, a power unit shop (you get the idea I'm sure. Anyway, the engine shop consisted of a small Froude dynamometer (water brake) to which was coupled a six cylinder Vauxhall engine used for various running demonstrations and exploring the relevance of timing and fueling. Then there were various engines on stands, all were runners, which were used to do fault finding and basic service procedures. One of these was a flat 4 VW which it was very easy to remove an HT lead on. The, rather silly, trick was that when a new student came into the shop you would take the HT lead off and hold it in your hand behind your back - engine running of course, not a pleasant experience for the "trickster" but bearable because you were prepared for it - then, as the "new boy" approached, you would say something like "look at your nose" or "what's wrong with your nose?, come here." Then, as he approached you'd extend your index finger and point at his nose until the gap was small enough for the spark to jump to his nose! The result was never really very funny in my opinion, although some thought so. Now a days, with high energy electronic ignition systems I guess the "trickster" might suffer a heart attack!

The other popular one was in the fitting shop where there were several large metal trunks in which were kept the tools, files, hammers, soldering irons, etc These had loose filling tops - no hinges. there were also a number of mains gas powered "turbo" torches for brazing exercises. The "trick" was to use on of the torches to introduce gas into the trunk with the top just slightly moved to one side. Then, when you judged a goodly quantity of gas had been introduced, you replaced the lid, sparked up the torch and hovered the flame near the edge of the lid. If you'd got the right mix of air and gas in the trunk - and that was actually quite difficult as too little gas just produced a "wet phart" whereas too much gas made a flame all round the edge of the lid - get it right though and the gas/air mix in the trunk exploded sending the lid up to the roof! Not surprisingly, when it came back down, it often caused mayhem so was deeply frowned upon if you got caught. I though it was much more fun to place the rather large funnel we made as a test piece inverted on the bench, fill it with gas and then light the gas coming out of the end of the funnel. A flame would burn, like a big candle, until enough air had been dragged into the bottom between the bench and rim of the funnel to give an ignitable mix where upon the mix would explode and cause the funnel to jump into the air for about 5 or 6 feet. Much more fun and almost risk free.
 
Last edited:
We did run him ragged, but only as he asked for it.
One afternoon after a pub lunch, we had a lecture in an old class room up stairs, we were all there early and saw him coming up the drive so shot into the room next door, we heard him go in and see we were not there, so he disappeared, coming back about 30 minutes later with the head of department by which time we were all sat in correct classroom with our books out ready for work. The head of department said to him "what are you talking about they are all here!":)
We learnt later he chased around the college on his motor scooter trying to find us, his brake failed and he drove into a parked car, it was over over fifty years ago and that prank was not one of mine in my defence.;)
In the same spirit. At school we had a particularly strict and unpleasant chemistry teacher - the man was in the wrong job. There was a solid sand stone arched gateway from the parking area at the rear of the school through to the courtyard at the back door. The whole class got hold of his google eyed Sprite, lifted it up and put it down length ways between the pillars. It fitted very neatly with it's front just against one pillar and it's rear against the other. It was still there at going home time! Not so funny the next day facing the head master though!
 
Anyway, the engine shop consisted of a small Froude dynamometer
One of my first engineering jobs was running a 12 hour shift 4 days a week on a Froude dyno in a Engine Test Cell complex. I can still remember the settings and times for each segment (simulating different gear/rev combinations for X minutes, followed by the next segment, for about 5 hours at a time. Then shutdown, check oil level, coolant level, visual check, and... do it all again. And again.) Other than setting revs and resistance and watching a clock, there was paperwork and calculations (about 3 minutes worth every hour) and the constant muted engine noise even with the ear defenders.
Deadly boring after the first week, but made more interesting by the occasional BANG, followed by "Oh sh*t" as an engine in one of the other test cells let go.
I only had one catastrophic engine failure, which pumped large amounts of oil and coolant everywhere and took most of an entire shift to clean up. The cause - a 6mm nut from the airbox had vibrated loose, got sucked in through the carburettor and into cylinder 2. Of course it happened on one of the high-speed simulation segments, so it was fairly spectacular.
Of course, that meant a new engine, and starting the whole cycle over again. After putting threadlock on the nuts in the airbox, of course.
 
Our college was a bit "different" in that it was divided into specialist "shops". This consisted of separate workshops for each major area of the car - so there was a transmission shop, a body/chassis shop, an electrics shop, a power unit shop (you get the idea I'm sure. Anyway, the engine shop consisted of a small Froude dynamometer (water brake) to which was coupled a six cylinder Vauxhall engine used for various running demonstrations and exploring the relevance of timing and fueling. Then there were various engines on stands, all were runners, which were used to do fault finding and basic service procedures. One of these was a flat 4 VW which it was very easy to remove an HT lead on. The, rather silly, trick was that when a new student came into the shop you would take the HT lead off and hold it in your hand behind your back - engine running of course, not a pleasant experience for the "trickster" but bearable because you were prepared for it - then, as the "new boy" approached, you would say something like "look at your nose" or "what's wrong with your nose?, come here." Then, as he approached you'd extend your index finger and point at his nose until the gap was small enough for the spark to jump to his nose! The result was never really very funny in my opinion, although some thought so. Now a days, with high energy electronic ignition systems I guess the "trickster" might suffer a heart attack!

The other popular one was in the fitting shop where there were several large metal trunks in which were kept the tools, files, hammers, soldering irons, etc These had loose filling tops - no hinges. there were also a number of mains gas powered "turbo" torches for brazing exercises. The "trick" was to use on of the torches to introduce gas into the trunk with the top just slightly moved to one side. Then, when you judged a goodly quantity of gas had been introduced, you replaced the lid, sparked up the torch and hovered the flame near the edge of the lid. If you'd got the right mix of air and gas in the trunk - and that was actually quite difficult as too little gas just produced a "wet phart" whereas too much gas made a flame all round the edge of the lid - get it right though and the gas/air mix in the trunk exploded sending the lid up to the roof! Not surprisingly, when it came back down, it often caused mayhem so was deeply frowned upon if you got caught. I though it was much more fun to place the rather large funnel we made as a test piece inverted on the bench, fill it with gas and then light the gas coming out of the end of the funnel. A flame would burn, like a big candle, until enough air had been dragged into the bottom between the bench and rim of the funnel to give an ignitable mix where upon the mix would explode and cause the funnel to jump into the air for about 5 or 6 feet. Much more fun and almost risk free.
Whilst at the Kart Racing club at College the trick was to set an OxyAcetylene torch at it's perfect flame/mixture, squeeze the hoses so it went out , then fill a large plastic bag with the gas, this was then placed in close proximity to a bonfire, the resulting explosion set the seagulls for miles around squawking.
 
Our college had a couple of Heenan and Froude Dynamometer's and we had to rebuild Triumph Herald engines which were the subject to a very short running in period followed by a full load test with exhaust bright red, few engines survived, but it was interesting.:)
 
Our college had a couple of Heenan and Froude Dynamometer's and we had to rebuild Triumph Herald engines which were the subject to a very short running in period followed by a full load test with exhaust bright red, few engines survived, but it was interesting.:)
Our "overhaul" engines were 1500cc "B" series BMC. You had to strip the whole engine, report on it's condition, recommend any repairs/reconditioning which might be needed and cost it. Then rebuild and run it for about half an hour on it's stand, but not under any load and report on any problems observed. Surprisingly few failed catastrophically but many were stopped by the instructor before full time! I'm proud to report mine ran faultlessly!
 
Just seen a vehicle that was common in the workshop when I was an apprentice, Mk 1 Ford Consul.
Would you describe this as a "space saver" spare wheel?;)
 

Attachments

  • 1731582449900.png
    1731582449900.png
    242.2 KB · Views: 10
  • 1731582501281.png
    1731582501281.png
    288.1 KB · Views: 12
Ordered from Tayna, will arrive tomorrow afternoon. Rang Halfords as wanted to confirm stock, computer say yes, advisor says no, enquired about discount and he said fine as I’m a member of their feedback/survey/customer care forum, but it still wasn’t worth it! Also said they’d match local retailers, GSF, Pages, kwikfit, etc…there’s a fag paper between prices so no, and sort your stock control out
 
Ordered from Tayna, will arrive tomorrow afternoon. Rang Halfords as wanted to confirm stock, computer say yes, advisor says no, enquired about discount and he said fine as I’m a member of their feedback/survey/customer care forum, but it still wasn’t worth it! Also said they’d match local retailers, GSF, Pages, kwikfit, etc…there’s a fag paper between prices so no, and sort your stock control out
I'm sure service probably varies from store to store. Must say I get excellent attention from the Seafield store up here and our experience at the Straiton branch was good too when we bought a new battery for my daughter in law's car there.
 
In the same spirit. At school we had a particularly strict and unpleasant chemistry teacher - the man was in the wrong job. There was a solid sand stone arched gateway from the parking area at the rear of the school through to the courtyard at the back door. The whole class got hold of his google eyed Sprite, lifted it up and put it down length ways between the pillars. It fitted very neatly with it's front just against one pillar and it's rear against the other. It was still there at going home time! Not so funny the next day facing the head master though!
When I was at college, we did a similar thing, but with a rubber bumper MGB GT.
There was a brick enclosure, with the electric sub-staton in it, and a short distance away, a grassy bank. This tarmacced area was used as a motorcycle park. Arriving back after lunch, we found teh MGB parked where our motorcycles should be, instead of around theother side of the building on the gravel car park. Not good trying to park motorcycles on gravel.
So about twenty of us picked the MGB up and pivoted it 90 degrees. It fitted well, with just a few inches front and rear between the brick wall and grassy bank.
When leaving, there was the owner, a bit puzzled, and a little cross, vowing never to lend it to his friend again.
 
Our college was a bit "different" in that it was divided into specialist "shops". This consisted of separate workshops for each major area of the car - so there was a transmission shop, a body/chassis shop, an electrics shop, a power unit shop (you get the idea I'm sure. Anyway, the engine shop consisted of a small Froude dynamometer (water brake) to which was coupled a six cylinder Vauxhall engine used for various running demonstrations and exploring the relevance of timing and fueling. Then there were various engines on stands, all were runners, which were used to do fault finding and basic service procedures. One of these was a flat 4 VW which it was very easy to remove an HT lead on. The, rather silly, trick was that when a new student came into the shop you would take the HT lead off and hold it in your hand behind your back - engine running of course, not a pleasant experience for the "trickster" but bearable because you were prepared for it - then, as the "new boy" approached, you would say something like "look at your nose" or "what's wrong with your nose?, come here." Then, as he approached you'd extend your index finger and point at his nose until the gap was small enough for the spark to jump to his nose! The result was never really very funny in my opinion, although some thought so. Now a days, with high energy electronic ignition systems I guess the "trickster" might suffer a heart attack!

The other popular one was in the fitting shop where there were several large metal trunks in which were kept the tools, files, hammers, soldering irons, etc These had loose filling tops - no hinges. there were also a number of mains gas powered "turbo" torches for brazing exercises. The "trick" was to use on of the torches to introduce gas into the trunk with the top just slightly moved to one side. Then, when you judged a goodly quantity of gas had been introduced, you replaced the lid, sparked up the torch and hovered the flame near the edge of the lid. If you'd got the right mix of air and gas in the trunk - and that was actually quite difficult as too little gas just produced a "wet phart" whereas too much gas made a flame all round the edge of the lid - get it right though and the gas/air mix in the trunk exploded sending the lid up to the roof! Not surprisingly, when it came back down, it often caused mayhem so was deeply frowned upon if you got caught. I though it was much more fun to place the rather large funnel we made as a test piece inverted on the bench, fill it with gas and then light the gas coming out of the end of the funnel. A flame would burn, like a big candle, until enough air had been dragged into the bottom between the bench and rim of the funnel to give an ignitable mix where upon the mix would explode and cause the funnel to jump into the air for about 5 or 6 feet. Much more fun and almost risk free.
Reality is, it was dangerous and out of line with the the safety elf. But injuries were few, and you learned lessons about explosive athmospheres etc that may be later in life made you more aware of risk.
 
Last edited:
called at Motor Parts Direct on the way home from our building site. Bosch rear wiper blades for Panda 319, 3 for £23. Result. S4P cheapest was 37 and Fiat would need a mortgage. Nice guys in our local branch too.
 
called at Motor Parts Direct on the way home from our building site. Bosch rear wiper blades for Panda 319, 3 for £23. Result. S4P cheapest was 37 and Fiat would need a mortgage. Nice guys in our local branch too.
I bought one two weeks ago for £14, (SAS, now GSF, what is going on with the prices of things, seem to be all over the place
 
I bought one two weeks ago for £14, (SAS, now GSF, what is going on with the prices of things, seem to be all over the place
14 is fair. 9 something is fine by me. I bought all the stock. Lol I think the Bosh part may be new. MPD seem good for wipers. I i thing front pair were 22 plus vat
 
called at Motor Parts Direct on the way home from our building site. Bosch rear wiper blades for Panda 319, 3 for £23. Result. S4P cheapest was 37 and Fiat would need a mortgage. Nice guys in our local branch too.
They seem to have extensive coverage in England and Wales but are conspicuously absent up here. Wonder why?
 
Back
Top