Sounds like you've got a bad earth, somewhere. :chin:
Usual suspects, when lights are involved, are the big multiconnector on the nearside (i.e. left-hand side: as you look from the driver's seat) inner wing, in the engine compartment; and the connectors inside the rear light clusters (where water can get in); and, sometimes, the earth in the boot itself.... If you clean these up, and make sure they're nice and tight; and then cover them in either vaseline or silicone grease, then this might just solve your problem.... :idea:
However, from your post, I wonder if there's a ghost in the machine: and that there's actually a fault with the BSI (body computer), which controls all these things. It could also be a dying battery (or alternator) -- as that can cause all sorts of freaky problems: although I would have expected you to have had power steering-related problems, first. Still worth checking their output, though (first, the battery on its own, with the engine off; then with the engine running; then with everything you can think of switched on...).
Might be worth disconnecting the battery, anyway, overnight; charging it up; and then seeing if your faults are still there....
Let us know how you get on; and apologies for not answering your post sooner.... Any questions -- ask away...!
